Life With Krysti

Naomi Chastain told me a few months back that we could reasonably expect 11 snows this winter. (If you know Naomi, she’s never wrong – just ask her family, and if you think she is, well, just ask her family.) I asked her how she knew and she referred me to her “Fogs in August” theory. I’ve always just referred to the “Look out the Window” theory – for me, the easiest.

Naomi learned this form of forecasting from a few fairly accurate mountain meteorologists. Sounds simple enough on the surface, you count the fogs in August and that tells you how many snows you’ll have in winter. However, if you listen long enough, it actually becomes quite the science. In short, at a specific point in time each morning you have to choose an inanimate object a certain distance away and if you can see it, well, then clearly it isn’t foggy. If you can’t see it, then it is. The distance has to be a good one, as it doesn’t count if the steam off the outdoor hot tub is obscuring your view. That would mean snow year round.

At any rate, now I am ridiculously intrigued and holding Naomi accountable to this number of precipitous events. However, before I go dragging out the parka and the sled dogs, I have to mention that she did issue a disclaimer in her forecasting. A “precipitous event” is merely a trackable snow. Meaning that if there’s enough snow to hold your footprint, it counts. So I asked her in all her wisdom, why did the old sages who shared with her the secret of snow not also divulge the formula for how much. Of course she had an answer for that too (told you, woman don’t miss a trick), it just wasn’t the answer I wanted. Evidently those formulas were the next level of forecasting education sadly left incomplete. Her precipitation predicting professors passed away before they could pass on their powder prognosticating powers. Pooey.

So I’m back to my “Look out the Window” theory. But I guess the upside is at least I’ll get 11 chances at it this winter.  (Although I think by press time, we’ve already had two.) Oh well, happy snowing anyway – and thanks Naomi!!

Contributed by Krysti Rogers

Happy New Year

It’s New Years. Time to wish you and yours good fortune and happiness in 2012.  Here is a list of howdy-dos and happy news from organizations with which you may or may not be familiar. In an effort to extend a hand of friendship and coincidentally advertise their cause, please accept a hale and hearty:

Happy Newton Year – from those of us who just don’t give a fig

Happy Flew Year – most of them these days

Happy Who Do You Outdo Year – the Kardashians

Happy Newt Year – That Little Lizard’s Fan Club

Happy Noose Year – from those of us hanging around

Happy Nude Year – Streakers Anonymous

Happy Glue Year – Happy Hooves Horse Ranch

Happy You Year – It Sucks to Be Me Association

Happy Flu Year – the Swineflu Society… wee wee wee love you… all the way home… for about seven days

Happy Noodle Year – Order of the Ramen Jammin’ Rasta Pastas

Happy Neuf Year – everything sounds better in French, with the possible exception of neuf

Happy Blue Year – Smurfs Revivalists Union

Happy Snooze Year – the legal firm of Dozer, Dribble, and Nod

Happy Who Year – Horton and Associates

Happy Moo Year – Bodacious Bovinity Council

Happy Phew Year – 2011’s a rap… Diddy Done Widdat

Happy Ptoo year – Spit that one out and move on.

Happy Brew Year – Brotherhood of, hiccup, Revenuersh

Happy Me for You Year – Codependents Anonymous

Happy Undo Year – Alpha Geeks Recovery Program

Rappy New Year – The Urban Noise Coalition

Crappy New Year – Brownie’s Septic Tank Service

Nappy New Year – Zzzzzzzzz Anonymous

Happy Flue Year – Chimney Sweeps Alliance

Happy Abstruse Year – International Council of Philosophers

Happy Numb Year – American Society of Anesthesiologists

Happy Boop-boop-a-do Year – Betty’s Fan Club

Happy Goo Year – Fun Goo for a Fungi Brotherhood

Happy Shoe Year – Loafers Anonymous

Happy Hue Year – Rainbow Coalition

Happy PeeYew Year – Eureka Pong Group

Happy Stew Year – The Crock Pot Collective

Happy Zoo Year – the U.S. Senate

Happy Poo Year – the U.S. House

Happy Boo-hoo Year – the White House

Nappy Yew Hear – Syslexics Lociety

I’ll add my wishes for a stunning twenty-twelve, all 366 days of it. And, just in case they got it right this time, I’ll leave you with one last thought: Happy No Year From the World’s End Alliance. But don’t despair; there’s a bright side. Think of the money you’ll save not buying lottery tickets.

Okay, I’ll save you the trouble. Happy Ptoo Year to me. E-neuf said.

Highlands NC Writers Group

Lee Lyons is a treasured member of the Highlands Writers.  She and her family for several generations have been members of the Highlands community.  Frequently you can catch her in a local play.

Switches

“Johnny,” she yelled several times before he hit the shower

Then left the house clicking the switches

from upstairs to down in every room

saving electricity.

Mama checked the drive and cut on I love Lucy.

All morning the sitcoms talked to no one

Sound to fill the silence until daddy came home for lunch.

It never varied.

He ate a sandwich and took a nap

until she yelled, “Johnny.”

Down he’d go, clicking switches out the door,

cranking the car several times before it started.

We’d wait for dinner. I’d hear her call.

Daddy strolled in unhurried,

tie loose, smelling of cigarettes and beer

to six little faces expecting a spanking.

Bed time quiet, the refrigerator opened,

A top spinned on the kitchen floor, the lighter clicked.

Daddy pulled the old metal stool closer to the counter

until she yelled, “Johnny.”

His steps heavy on the stairs

clicking switches down the hall.

Contributed by Lee Lyons


Life With Krysti in Highlands, NC

Christmas. My favorite time of year. I love the tree, the lights, the wonder, the joy, the warmth and everything that is Christmas. There’s an effervescence that abounds from Turkey Day through December that is, for me, uncontainable. Is it the chill in the air? Is it finding the perfect gift for a friend? Maybe it’s the anticipation of seeing my daughters’ faces Christmas morning, watching Sarah studiously unwrap every gift, savoring each second until the gift is unveiled. Or, this year, seeing Mims – who still won’t really “get” Christmas – playing with the paper and ribbons with ridiculous joy.

Wait, I think that’s it. Ridiculous joy. Silly, giddy joy.  That “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” joy. It’s a joy that I think we can only get away with being excited about from Thanksgiving til Christmas. Somewhere in our adulthood we were told to put away our hope and good cheer after the holidays. For the rest of the year, 24/7 we’re inundated with politics, gruesome headlines and the Kardashians.  Those are minutes (and brain cells) we’ll never get back.  We forget we’re allowed to – and should be happy, joyful even, about the gifts of everyday.

Santa may come and go, but it’s the little gifts we get all the time – the simple joys that are Christmas all year long. Come on, think about it: your comfy slippers, your favorite song, a hot cup of coffee, that friendly bark at the end of the day, laughter, a ham biscuit, getting out of bed in the morning… duh, the list goes on of course.  Whatever it is that moves you, comforts you, brings you joy, find it. Savor it.  Most of all, share it. Be Santa every other 364 days of the year, get a fat sack of joy and pass it on to others, even – and especially – when  they don’t deserve it.

This holiday season, after the tree has come down and the exchanges are done, keep joy – give it. We’re blessed beyond measure.  Let’s live like it.

Happy holidays -  and joy to you!

Contributed by Krysti Rogers

“A Love Story: How God Pursued Me and Found Me”

Samantha Ryan Chandler’s book “A Love Story: How God Pursued Me and Found Me” is a story of surviving through grace. Her story is very real and frankly describes the war between the good and the bad from good’s perspective.

Her story is common in theme to many stories of today with the exception that she lived at a different level. Her life is a story of remarkable experiences and she was able to accomplish this because of her character and skills communicating from the heart.

Though the story is set in a fairytale life and the trip for the reader most exciting, the real story is when Samantha surrenders and the “Hand of God” reaches out and pulls her out of the cesspool she was swimming in to a place where she found grace smiling upon her.

The lessons here are full and the one that is repeated throughout the narrative is trust – trust in God and the profound power of faith.

Part of the book is set at the family farm in Highlands’ Horse Cove, but the bulk of it is in Atlanta and the rest of the world. It’s a story that’s intriguing, disturbing and, finally, bright and shiny with hope.

Look for information about area booksignings.

Contributed by Guy Fielding

Royal French Tracker

Contributed by Wayne Coleman

Anyone who lives in the mountains and/or has obtained the age of fifty-five should have a dog. Not a cat – a dog.  Cat lovers are a different breed (pun intended).  The old saying: “Dogs are man’s best friend” is true.

Before I go any further let’s back up a few years.  My family has had dog persons for years and years.  Some of them helped raise our kids.  We’ve had Labs, black and tan Coon hounds, Flat Coat Retrievers and Great Pyrenees.  No little ankle biters for us, no sir. No “Near” dogs or yappers for us. Only “Real” dogs  would make their home with us.  Cha Cha, Ginger, Heidi and Coco are just some of the names of these family members.

Our next to last dog person was a super loving dark Chocolate Lab named Coco.  We had never had a Chocolate and when we told friends we had just picked out one they said we would be sorry ‘cause Chocolates remained puppies longer than any other breed. How right they were.  Coco was everywhere.  Chewing on everything.  Tons and tons of  energy. Whew. Makes me tired to just think about those days.  It was suggested that we have lots of chew toys, so we had Coco toys everywhere.

When girl dog, Coco, reached about three and a half, she reached adulthood and became a wonderful companion.  We took her everywhere.  I interviewed kennels where we might board Coco when we went overseas.  Only the best would do.  I finally found a wonderful place in Smyrna, Georgia.  Ted Turner -  of TBS, TNT, CNN and husband of Jane Fonda fame –boarded his Lab there.  They even made homemade chicken dog food each day.  Nothing was too good for our Girl dog. Incidentally, we’ve only had lady dogs, no boys and I always seem to call them “Girl” as well as their “real’ names.

Coco loved our place up here in the mountains.  Our twelve acres, including six acres of grass and  surrounded by National Forest woods is a wonderful place for a dog lady.

Now all this about Coco is a prelude for the current story.  In May, two and a half years ago when Coco was twelve,  My wife, Annette and I went to Ireland and left Coco with our son, daughter-in-law and grandsons in Atlanta.  Dedi, our daughter-in-law called us in Ireland to let us know that Coco was really having a hard time.  She couldn’t get up and wouldn’t eat. She had had arthritis for some time and was getting slower and slower.  Dedi took her to a vet in Atlanta.  On our return to Kennedy Airport in New York, I called Dedi and she put  me on the phone with the vet.  Coco had multiple things wrong and she, like dogs will do, didn’t want to suffer any longer. The vet said it would be best if Girl dog was put to sleep.

I was walking around our airport gate talking to the vet on my cell and crying.  I’m sure people thought I was talking about a family member, which I was.  The vet put her partner on the phone to tell me she agreed it was the best for Coco.  I finally said yes and crying said: ‘Please say goodbye to a wonderful companion for me.”  We have her ashes with us still.

The next week it just didn’t seem right around our house.  No Girl dog.  Finally we said that we needed to find another dog to fill the hole in our hearts.  Amy Patterson, our vet, said “Now, don’t get another Lab.  They are so interbred that they are walking cancers. Go over to Cashiers to the Humane Society and get yourselves a rescue dog.”

So, we went on line and found a couple of pups that looked right for us.  We drove to Cashiers to look at them in person.  By the time we got there, both doggies had already been adopted.  We walked around looking at other dogs, when Annette said, “I like that one.”  We were looking at a black and white, friendly girl dog.

The folks at the Humane Society gave us what details they had.  They had named her Collette.  She was about a year old and had had a litter of puppies.  Someone had left her and her puppies in a box beside the highway.  I wish I knew who that sorry person was so I could give him/her a piece of my mind.  Her puppies had already been adopted.

Collette had all of her shots, been spayed and was ready for a new home.  Now let me describe her.  She has really neat markings.  Black on top and white underneath and white feet.  Long black tail with a white tip.  She holds her tail up like a flag.  Her face looks much like a Husky as well as having Husky articulating ears but her body is long with long legs.  She weighs fifty-four pounds and can run very fast.  She loves to run fast like a race horse,  bound up the steps and dive through her doggy door on the back porch.  She has webbed feet like a Lab. Loves water.

Her disposition is wonderfully sweet but is a hunter of birds and squirrels (never catching them).  If she gets her front paws, er, her hands, dirty, she washes them in her water pan on the back porch like a raccoon.  Really funny.  She doesn’t have a doggie smell, even when wet.  Keeps herself clean.  Wait, I know what you’re thinking, she is not in any way, anyhow cat like.

Collette had some interesting quirks at first.  She was scared of stairs.  I had to carry her up stairs where we sleep and carry her down.  It took her about four or five days to get over her fear of stairs.  She then would bound up and down like crazy.

She has beds all over the house.  Her crate, on which the door is left open, is her “private” house.  She has soft , foam beds upstairs and down.  Annette bought a small, round bed in which Collette will curl up in a ball.  She has “blankies” spread around the floor of the great room but she loves to share Annette’s blanket the best.  She likes to lie beside my chair and “hold” hands. She loves to go to the beauty salon, Four Paws, in Seneca to get a  shampoo and nail trim every three weeks.

In the two plus years with us, we have heard her bark only maybe four times.  She just doesn’t bark much.  Only at a bear, a cat or a snake.  She does think she can talk. Telling us, with a low voice, she needs to go out or she needs a treat.  We don’t know how many words she understands, but there are several, like “outside, “sit”, “treat”, “Momma,” “Daddy,” “go tee tee,” Bye-bye,” and several  more.

All of the dogs that have owned us in the past have been more Daddy’s girl dogs than Mom’s. Not so with Collette, she is equal with her attention.  Different how she treats Annette and me, but equal.  Neat.

The day we got Collette, I called our vet, Amy Patterson, told here and her sister, Cookie, that we had gotten our first rescue dog.  Amy asked if we knew what breed Collette was.  I said that she was a “Royal French Tracker.”  Cookie said she had never heard of that breed.  

“What does she track?”

I replied “Elephants.”

Amy said, “There aren’t any elephants in France.”

I said: “She did a great job.”

When we travel with Collette, people will comment how pretty she is and ask what breed she is, I, course, say: She’s a world champion “Royal French Tracker.”  I don’t elaborate. When they say that they haven’t heard of that breed,

I say: They’re rare.

Don’t Be a Squidiot

My buddy Bobbo and I play a word game that is always good for a giggle. Bonus…  it’s a superb brain workout. The rules: A player picks a word, changes a syllable, defines it, and the next person must follow suit, using the same root word. The winner is the last one standing. 

Here’s an example: the root word selected is idiot, with the kick-off word, Lidiot. Definition: someone who doesn’t replace jar lids snugly. The second player might submit one of the following, and the game is afoot.

Hidiot: someone who tucked away money for a rainy day and hasn’t a clue where they put it

Kidiot: someone who tells jokes that bomb

Giddy-ot: someone who laughs for no apparent reason

Tiddy-ot: a guy obsessed with porn

Overbidiot: a person who offers too much for a house

Skidiot: someone with bad tires

Katydidiot someone with a chronic compulsion to rub his legs together

Pyramidiot:  a person who joins an investment club

Eyelidiot: anyone who tattoos his eyelids

Squidiot: a dumb invertebrate

Ididiot: Anyone who said “ I do” 

To make the game even more fun, place a time limit on turns. While I can’t suggest you play for money, you can play for respect. Or chocolate, always a good incentive. But you have to be careful if you lose and say, “The chocolate’s on me, guys!” The very nature of the game could encourage players to take you literally. You could be Cadbury’d within an inch of your life. Hmmm. Not a bad way to go. 

And Cadbury, of course, could launch a whole new word series. Badbury: chocolate so good, it’s bad. Sadbury: a shot of chocolate in depresso coffee…

So go get a game on. Warning: pick words with syllables that have lots of rhymes. Orange, film, and wasp, for example, would make for very short games.

Now, one last challenge…  find yourself a funky guitar, pretend you can play it, and be a Bo Diddliot for a day.  Conway Twiddy-ot would be proud.by Donna Rhodes

Writers Retreat at Stillmont Cottage

Contributed by Dorothy Palmer
 
 
This October, Dorothy Palmer and Kelly Moffett are providing writers (both beginning and advanced) an opportunity to experience the mountains in full color.  Why?  As Palmer says, “Nothing is more inspiring than fall in the Blue Ridge.”

Nestled in one of the oldest developments in Cashiers, Stillmont is the site for the first annual Stillmont Writer’s Retreat, a three-day seminar on the craft of writing and how it relates to nature.  Focusing on how the exterior landscape inspires the inner one, Palmer and Moffett have designed a retreat that replenishes and nourishes the writer. Participants will come to see with a different eye by taking a step back from the usual scrutiny of the written word with the intended result of gaining new insights, a fresh perspective and perhaps a bit of personal growth.  The goal is for participants to leave each day with a new piece of written work.

Palmer trekked up to Cashiers yearly to visit her grandmother on summer vacation and remembers when clogging was the entertainment and barbeque the sustenance.  When she recently inherited the mountain home, she decided to make it a writing retreat because, while she was pursuing a Master of Fine Arts degree in Creative Writing, she found inspiration in nature and she wanted to bring nature to other writers who may need it as well.  Partnered with Kelly Moffett, a full time professor of creative writing and pedagogy at Northern Kentucky University, Palmer has Moffett handle the teaching, with craft talks like, “The Art of Attention,” “How to write in one sitting,” and “A Discussion of Revision.” Moffett runs numerous writing retreats throughout the year with six years of organizing workshops under her belt.  Palmer will speak on Belief Management the last day, tying up the experience with a mind opening exercise to leave the attendees uplifted and ready to see the world with fresh eyes.

Registration information, biographies, a schedule of events and photos of the “Stillmont Cottage” are available online at  www.StillmontWritersRetreat.com.  If you would like more information, please contact Palmer at (270) 993-6508 or Moffett at moffettk1@nku.edu.

Author Rod Rogers

Even though writer Rod Rogers composed a good portion of his latest novel “Where to Now?” at his cottage in Highlands, you could say that he spent his entire life working on it.
 Where to now? That is the question Rogers’ protagonist, Len Arial, a former prosecutor, asks himself at the beginning of the novel. Now a legal hired gun with a disdain for his profession, and a bitter divorce in his immediate past, Arial appears to be a man with few options.
 His life is galvanized when, in the guise of the criminal mastermind known simply as “Billy Jack,” intrigue, vengeance, and terror descend upon the picturesque city of Charleston, South Carolina. With untold quantities of financial, legal, and criminal resources, Billy Jack returns after many years, to the scene of the trial that sent him to prison. He is determined to terrorize and destroy those responsible sending him there, with Arial as ground zero.
  Rogers was born in Mullins, South Carolina, in 1940.  He grew up in the environment of the late Depression, World War II, and the rural segregated South. These factors had an enormous influence on Rod and his experiences growing up.  With several offers, including the Ivy League and service academies, Rod accepted a full football scholarship to Clemson University. His football and academic careers were volatile, but in the end, he graduated and was offered an NFL contract, which he turned down. For many reasons, Rod went through ROTC and upon graduation, with a degree in mathematics, was commissioned a 2nd Lieutenant in the Army.  Also, upon graduation, he married the former Mary LeVan Collins. They have been married for 48 years.
  Upon completion of an eventful two years in the 7th Cavalry (the unit destroyed at Custer’s Last Stand), he went to work in the packaging industry. Rod was hired to create and implement a quality program, and moved quickly through other positions and became plant/production manager.  Sensing that moving up the corporate ladder was going to be his life’s work, Rod returned to graduate school at the University of South Carolina, and earned an MBA.  
  Things seem to be on track, as Rod went to work as a marketing analyst for a major corporation. It was at this point where his passion for reading, deserted for sports in junior high, came back with abandon.  While advancing in the business world, Rod began to develop his skills and his vision of a novelist.  After reaching a high position and a very comfortable life style, Rod, with LeVan’s full support, turned down a chance to be considered as CEO, and cut loose to pursue writing on a full time basis.
   Reality being what it is, Rod and LeVan have owned and operated an art gallery, bed and breakfast, and real estate business to support the writing habit.  Rod’s background, to include both academic and real world experience, is the driving force of his work. He’s also the author of the Civil War epic “Blue-Gray Mist and a Black Dawn.”
   For more information on Rod and his writing, visit www. rodrogersbooks.com.

Appalachian Celebration

Naturalist-photographer James Valentine has spent 35 years documenting the spectacular natural heritage of the Highlands Plateau.

He’s stalked the wild places that have remained hidden from the modern world – the deep shadowed crags, the bold cascades, and, always, the trees that have managed to thrive in the most formidable places.

Valentine’s taken those spectacular photographs and teamed up with nature writer Chris Bolgiano to produce the new book, “Southern Appalachian Celebration; In Praise of Ancient Mountains, Old-Growth Forests and Wilderness.”

“‘Southern Appalachian Celebration’ is our effort to recognize the great debt we owe to the natural beauty that’s all around us – the forests give us the healthy air we breathe and help purify the water that we drink,” says Valentine.

With this stunning collection of images from the Southern Appalachians, Valentine presents a portrait of the natural character of a region apart. His compelling images of ancient mountains, old-growth forests, rare flowers, and powerful waterways reveal the region’s scenic beauty.

The deeply interpretive text and captions by Chris Bolgiano help us understand how forests renew themselves even as they age.

“Chris Bolgiano’s text is the books grace note, both sparkling and spare,” writes Wilderness Society President Bill Meadows in the Foreward. “She ties the photographs together in a comprehensive whole.”

Valentine’s book will accompany the exhibit: “Master Works Ancient Forest Collection: In Search of the Southern Appalachian Giant Trees” at The Mountain Retreat & Learning Center.

Jim Fowler, co-host of Mutual Omaha’s “Wild Kingdom,” is the master of ceremony and will help host the two day program and deliver a talk, ”New Messages for the 21st Century.”

Joining Valentine and Fowler is Peter Kipp-dupont, who’ll present “Falconry: The Ancient Connection Program.” Kipp-dupont will discuss his involvement with the reintroduction of the peregrine falcon on Whiteside Mountain.

The New Hudson Library

Can you believe the changes at the Hudson Library? Many of our year-round patrons have observed the work, been inconvenienced a little, but now the work is 99.9% finished, and we’ve been getting rave reviews. The staff is very pleased because we are meeting more of the needs of the community and have made the space fit the activity: quiet—you’ve got it; the adult reading room is as comfortable as your living room; children can be children in their sound-separated space. The new multipurpose room is available for meetings, movies, discussions, speeches—truly multipurpose.

This represents another step in the evolution of the Hudson Library, which has been at the center of our community since 1884, providing resources for you—information, entertainment, reading, and the services of a modern library.

What you may not know is that the Hudson Library as it exists today is available because of the generosity of stalwart citizens of our town who donated the land and building in 1985. It was given to the Hudson Library of Highlands, NC, Inc., a nonprofit whose board oversees the property. The Fontana Regional Library provides the services and staff to what is a branch of the Macon County Library.  The County Commission has been very supportive over the years. They provided matching funds and workers to make the interior renovation possible.

The Board of the Library was completely in charge of this latest renovation. We were very fortunate to secure the exceptional architectural services of Paul Schmitt Design Studio. This winter we decided to remodel the outside of the building, too, as it was in need of repair and a “new face.” Included in this “new face” is a porte-cochère and a totally new landscape plan. Work began this spring and was completed by the summer.

We now sincerely request your generosity in helping us pay for this exceptional new look. We are conducting a $150,000 capital campaign throughout the rest of 2011. Please contact us through the Library. Naming opportunities are available, and every donation counts. Come use the Hudson!

Ann Merritt at Shakespeare and Company

Author Ann Merritt’s “Cry From the Cold” mixes romance and and a desperate manhunt in the brutal majesty of the Alaskan wilderness.

Author Ann Merritt will be signing her latest book Cry from the Cold at Shakespeare and Company Bookstore on Saturday, August 6th. The book is described as a romantic, suspense novel. The rugged wilderness of Alaska makes for a beautiful setting where a man wanted for murder and on the run from the law seeks refuge.  The story’s main characters include a Chicago police detective who is dedicated to bringing a fugitive to justice and an Alaskan bush pilot who struggles between his innate desire to help a person in need and his fear of being discovered.

Mrs. Merritt, a native of Savannah, Georgia finds escape in her writing. Now that her two boys are grown and she is a grandmother, she has moved from being an avid tennis player to less strenuous endeavors including writing, painting and making clay structures.  She and her husband enjoy hiking and traveling when not getting to spoil their grandchildren.

The oldest of five children born in New Jersey, Ann grew up in Connecticut and the Midwest.  She graduated magna cum laude from the University of Wisconsin before marrying and moving south to the University of Alabama where she earned a Masters in Fine Art.

Those of you who have read her earlier book, The Highlander, know what a talented writer Ann is.  Be sure to stop by Shakespeare and Company at 204 N. 5th Street,  on August 6th to let Ann sign her latest book.