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Everybody Needs a Yogi
Written By: Donna Rhodes | Issue: May 2024
When she needs a bit of clarity and composure, Donna turns to her Inner Yogi.
Art by Norma Jean Zahner
My friend K. is a whiner. She complains about being broke. She has no love life. She hates her job.
“Leave her behind,” I tell myself.
Then, my inner Yogi Berra reminds me, K.’s 90 percent whiny, but her other half is a lotta fun.
When Yogi puts it that way, all’s forgiven.
Mickey Mantle hit a ton of home runs in the 1950s, but Yogi Berra could hit a homer every time he opened his mouth. And even though he insisted, “I never said everything I said,” history provides enough evidence to certify the Yogi legend.
As for K., when she gets craptismal, I grab my supplemental brain (my laptop) and start rolling off Yogi-isms. In seconds she’s a goner, laughing, snorting, and telling me stories about her grandad who memorized every Yogi-ism there was, including the ones he never said.
We laugh so hard we collapse into LOLzheimers.
Here are a few of our Yogi faves:
“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
“I usually take a two-hour nap from one to four.”
“Never answer an anonymous letter.”
“We made too many wrong mistakes.”
“Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.”
“It gets later early out there.”
“Pair up in threes.”
“If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.”
So next time you are in the company of friends who are plowing their Armageddon gardens, pause for a Berra Break and practice the philosophy of a different kind of Yogi.
