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Why I Oughta…
Written By: Donna Rhodes | Issue: November 2024
It took them 90 years, but The Three Stooges are finally being celebrated as style icons.
art by Norma Jean Zahner
It’s finally happened.
The Three Stooges have taken over America.
No, I am not talking about politics (well, maybe a little). I’m nattering-on about hair, all kinds of it. That fuzzy, fluffy stuff growing atop a brain, which often reflects that brain’s IQ.
Compare Stooge-hair to current coiffures. I’ve dubbed them: the Mushroom Moe, Llama Larry, and Curly Buzz.
Moe’s ‘Shroom haircut is basically a bowl cut. Bowl cuts originated as a popular male style in the 13th century. The bowl-cut pops back into popularity every so often. It appeared in the early 20th century, often used on children in rural areas where money and barber shops were scarce. Turn a bowl upside-down on a kid’s head and cut the fringe hanging below the rim. Simple, quick, cheap, no-brainer. But, sadly, children of the poor were called bowl-heads – and worse.
Today, the bowl cut is dope – a legit thing amongst Gen Zs (aka, the digital natives).
Maybe Moe grabbed a bowl one day and said, “Why I oughta…” Then he did. And now, so do we.
The Llama Larry is a bit more sophisticated. To experience this haircut fully, google llamas. Dig their shear appearance. The Llama Larry works on certain kinds of hair, namely a thick, wavy mop. Shave the sides and leave a sizeable shock on top, you’ve got a Llama or Alpaca look. Larry may have had a receding hairline, but he had plenty of hair to flop forward. What a lavishing llama lug he must have made.
Finally, Curly. When he was being groomed, so to speak, for the Stooges, someone suggested he be called Girly. He thought they said Curly and so Curly stuck. He buzzed off the hair (which earlier made him look girlish). It gave him a comedic appearance, and he nyuk-nyuk-nyuk’d his way into Hollywood history.
While the three afore-mentioned hairdos were designed for men, women have their own version too. In fact, anyone of any age and gender identity can Stooge-it these days.
I’d like to tell you more, but as Curly once said, “I’m trying to think!! But nothing happens!!”
So, I close with this thought: Imagine a presidential triumvirate of Larry, Curly, and Moe. They’d likely be remembered by their famous quote: “Don’t think! Every time you do, you weaken the nation.”
