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Spring Clean Those Proverbs
Written By: Donna Rhodes | Issue: March 2023
Just like Deena’s Outdoor Column about Warwoman Dell, Donna offers some solid tips for navigating life.
illustration by Norma Jean Zahner
It’s Spring and time for housecleaning. I am dusting off some old proverbs for your reading pleasure. Tidy up a few of your own and add them to the list:
All things must pass.
Particularly gas and speedy drivers. Part company with both at the next available exit.
All you need is love.
And some food, a shelter, and perhaps birth control.
A watched pot never boils.
Well, it does. It just takes forever, and while you’re watching it, the cat eats your kids’ gerbil, and the dryer melts your hubby’s tighty whities.
Do not change horses in midstream.
Especially if all midstream-horses have scales that look like luggage with crocodile teeth.
Don’t rock the boat.
Have you already forgotten the cannibals and the crocodiles?
Faith will move mountains.
But my dog will move a molehill
for nuthin’.
First things first.
We need a proverb to remember this? We’re pathetic.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
Great! Now he knows where you live, and he cleans out your trout pond.
History repeats itself.
History repeats itself.
Lightning never strikes twice in the same place.
Unless, of course, you are dancing with that lightning rod again.
Live and let live.
Otherwise, I would have to visit you in prison, and that’s just not happening.
Easier said than done.
Particularly after three martinis.
The first blooms of spring make my
heart sing.
Then my allergies kick in, my stomach churns thinking about upcoming tax season, and we have that dang time-change on the horizon.
Other than that, life’s good. Happy Eternal Vernal!
