Quintessentially Highlands

Written By: Luke Osteen | Issue: 2019/03 - March

Here we are in March, and throughout this issue of Laurel, you’ll find heaps of references to the arrival of Spring, popping up like the crocuses that my Mom always noted when she talked about this blessed season. 

Nature columns, gardening tips, guides to hiking and fishing, they all note
the season.

Heck, even Dr. Anastasia Halldean’s healthy recipe is a classic Spring concoction.

All of these talented writers, each one so connected to this world, each one dedicated to discovering the best that life has to offer.

Yet it seems like I’m the only one who’s recognized the other March arrival, the one freighted with equal, if not greater, import for those dedicated to living a complete, fulfilling life. 

How about the start of the baseball season? Here on the Plateau, across America, and in every corner of the civilized world. How could they miss it?

And why on earth would I begin a review of Highlands Deli with this bit of
marvelous news?

Well, to answer that, let’s go back a lot of years when the place was called
Highlands Hill Deli.

This is where I’d take my son Alex after a challenging Tee-Ball game (where his team racked up an astonishing 12-0 record, just like every other team in the league), and after the wins and losses of his Highlands baseball team. When I was coaching, I’d sometimes treat the entire team to a visit to the deli. We’d refuel on hearty sandwiches, hot dogs, and ice cream, lots of ice cream. 

It was there that Alex unveiled what many consider to be the finest baseball riddle ever to come out of Highlands School, courtesy of Kindergarten Teacher Jane Chalker: “Why was Cinderella such a lousy baseball player? “Because she had a pumpkin for a coach!”

The point is, this was a terrific place to bring a passel of hungry kids. The servings were generous, the prices were reasonable, and, of course, there was that ice cream. 

So here we are now, in 2019, and Highlands Deli (they’ve taken out the “Hill” portion of the name) maintains that wholesome, welcoming aura, almost vanished from the landscape. Like The Farmer’s Market, or Buck’s, this is a place for locals, and those who want to be locals, and those who are just passing through. Like those places, you go there for food and refreshment, and hang around for the stories and gossip. You’re never a stranger, even if you really are.

But enough digression, let’s get on to the review. 

Like that coach from long ago, I arrived with a long list of orders, this for a group of hungry, borderline cranky office workers.

Consider all these selections accepted by the counterman without batting an eye: A Cuban Sandwich, a Muffaleta, the Legendary Highlands Hill Sandwich on Sourdough, Seafood Bisque, Spinach Salad, a hearty Torta de Carnitas, and a French Dip Sandwich au jus. 

Even though I was in the middle of a lunch crowd, the kitchen delivered two groaning bags of food in nine minutes and I was on my way to the office. 

First of all, let me explain the peril involved here.

Like I said, this is an office crowd and they have an inordinate amount of control over my life. Also, they can be snarky when their hunger is not sated and their palates remain disappointed. An inadequate lunch on a cold, dim, fluorescent February day can lead to all sorts of unexpected consequences for me and my career, extending well past the end of the World Series. 

But not to worry! The gobbling of the sandwiches, the slurping of the soup, the shoveling of the salads were met with satisfied sighs all around. 

I was saved.

The Cuban was served up in the most traditional, loving manner. It’s an unabashed masterpiece, a piling on of ham, Swiss cheese, smoked pork, thinly sliced dill pickles, and mustard, heated and pressed with a precision that would make Ricky Ricardo weep with joy. 

The same care went into the preparation of the Muffaleta.  This is an overstuffed sandwich bulging with ham, salami, havarti cheese, cream cheese and garlic spread, and olive spread. Even with all that, it’s the olive spread that really elevates this creation. There’s something transcendent about its appearance in the mix.

The Highlands Hill has earned its reputation as the Highlands sandwich against which all others are measured. It’s piled high with turkey, bacon, havarti cheese, and avocado. It turns out that the avocado is crucial to this thing working. 

Torta de Carnitas was judged by Serenity as the “best deal on the menu.  I was surprised at how tender the meat was – excellent!  It was a great blend of flavors!  You could taste each thing without them overwhelming each other.”

You wouldn’t think there’d be much to say about a Spinach Salad, and there really isn’t, except, in the words of Megan, “It was really fresh – nothing wilty or brown or sad and tired looking.”

Megan also had nothing but praise for the Seafood Bisque, which, in her words was, ”Amazing! The perfect blend of flavors, set against the right amount of sherry. This was my favorite of everything we sampled.”

  Everyone was surprised that the chips that came with the orders were accompanied by a marvelous French onion dip, which tasted like something homemade and served to company.

Well, I’ve gotten this far and I haven’t even mentioned the deli’s suite of SweeTreats Craft Ice Cream creations. 

  They start off with a vanilla or chocolate ice cream base and blend in your personalized selection of fresh toppings. It’s irresistible and deeply, deeply gratifying, and serves as a perfect punctuation to your meal. Do not miss the ice cream! If you have to, forgo the sandwiches and the salads. Skip this experience and you’ll wake up at 2:15 A.M. the next morning with a deep pang of regret. Trust me!

So there you go, if you need a quintessential Highlands meal or an ice cream treat suitable for strolling and savoring, visit Highlands Deli. You’ll find the place at the corner of Main Street and Fourth. No, they don’t take reservations for a table, but they have an app where you can order and pay in advance and schedule your pick up time.  The biggest advantage to the app is that you pay for the order through the app and not at the register…so no lines when you pick up!

In a nod to its business being predicated on local traffic, Highlands Deli is offering 10 percent off of all local orders through the end of April. That means you can treat your entire baseball team to a treat without breaking the bank.

And for those of you shaken up by the revelation that Cinderella was not very good at baseball, it turns out she was pretty poor at other sports as well:

“Why was Cinderella such a bad
football player?”

“She kept running away from the ball!”

Thank you.