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Sapphire’s Outhouse Races
Written By: Donna Rhodes | Issue: Winter 2024 | Photograph By: Charles Johnson
Outhouses once more take their place as pillars of polite civilization on February 17 at the Sapphire Valley Outhouse Race.
There’ll be no tarrying at the slippery slopes of Sapphire Valley Ski Resort, Outhouse Race. Join the madness on February 17 for one-holer outhouse races, head-to-head and back-to-back. It’s a snow-race that gets bodacious-er every year. Whether participant or observer, you’ll agree it’s the primo demolition derby of the Plateau.
Who knows who’ll show up this year? Buffalo Cow Patty? Lavatory Lunatics? Garfield’s Litter Box? LOO-mers in Bloomers? Or maybe you! Yep, You! Create your own moniker, build an outlandish outhouse, and join the lunacy. You’ve got a crescent moon on your door, right? … traditionally, a moon for the ladies, a star for the gents.
The Cashiers Valley Rotary Club will be on the sidelines sizzling up something scrumptious. It’s good stuff. Buy a bunch of it. And Rotary will help others with your donations.
Dress in your most outrageous outhouse outfit, tote a roll of TP, and contribute to the fun and foolishness. In the spirit of your dogged dedication, give what you can to Cashiers-Highlands Humane Society.
If you’ve not seen the races, imagine two privies, standing upright – inside each, a pilot. Two team members launch the privy down the 120-foot bunny slide, wobbling, careening, often crashing in the snow, ice, and its opponent as it bobs to the bottom. Privies still standing/sliding are stopped by the Privy Police and move to the next heat.
Have you ever tried halting a speeding port-a-potty on skis? It’s a toss-up who and what is left standing.
No one ever gets hurt, though. Okay, a little bit stiff and sore on Sunday, but you know you had a good time if the jaws of life had to pry you loose. Kidding!
Registration is at 1:30 P.M. Static parade (the viewing and judging) is at 2:30 P.M. with the races to follow in the Sapphire Valley Ski Area, 3:00 – 4:00 P.M. Visit skisapphirevalley.com for more information. Or you can email Linda Foxworth at [email protected].
