Big Brothers and Big Sisters of America is a well-known national mentoring organization, but not many people realize that it was established in Highlands in 2002 and Cashiers in 2012.
Although the Plateau area is full of world-class golf and recreational opportunities, fine dining, and luxury real estate, there is a startlingly high number of at-risk youth living here. These children contend with instability in their homes, exposure to substance misuse, academic and social challenges, financial hardship, and food insecurity.
But Big Brothers Big Sisters of Cashiers Highlands (BBBSCH) offers proven solutions that transform these childrens’ lives.
Children enrolled in the program, Littles, are carefully matched with Bigs, who can be high school students or adults. These Bigs play an invaluable role for Littles and their parents.
Big Sister Karla explains it this way: “kids don’t always like to talk to their parents. So, it’s nice to have somebody that the parents trust, but also that the child feels comfortable to talk to. Better to talk to that adult than friends who may not give the best advice.”
Community partner Serenity Richards adds, “It takes a village. If you’re working three jobs, you need another adult who you can trust to help with your child, and you need to know your child has a safe space.”
For example, when Anniemae’s husband tragically passed away three years ago, she had her hands full keeping their family afloat, and she knew that her 7-year-old daughter needed extra support.
Maddie had always wanted a sibling, and BBBSCH offered a surrogate sister. And even though Big Sister Sidney is only in high school, she has been able to guide Maddie through her grief and offer stable support that Maddie lacks from her peers at school.
Because of having a Big, she has learned to look out for others who don’t have anyone looking out for them, and Anniemae says Maddie will “100 percent want to be a Big herself” when she is old enough.
Being a mentor can sound intimidating, but veteran Big Sister Liz says it isn’t really that difficult.
“Everything someone can give a child is a gift. Even once a month or twice a month adds to that child’s life. Anytime you know a child is learning things to be a better adult, that’s good.”
When Liz was first matched with her Little, the main concern was her anger issues, but Liz used simple strategies to help: “First of all, we just talked about it. Then we did breathing exercises together and practiced counting slowly from 1 to 10.”
That was so effective that her Little’s parents noticed the improvement. The bottom line for Liz is that “every kid in the world should have a Big Sister or Big Brother. Every kid needs another adult that’s crazy about them besides Mom and Dad. It’s a wonderful gift [to give them].”
Big Sister Karla’s Little has ongoing struggles with her peers at school and is sometimes bullied. “I feel like she wants to hide something about herself or change something, and I tell her she doesn’t have to do that because the right people are going to come into her life and love her for who she is.”
Big Sister Liz remembers that the first time she went back to her other home in Florida, she and her Little were both devastated. She sent cards and care packages while she was gone.
Then when Liz returned to Cashiers, “she ran to me and wouldn’t let me go. After that she got a phone and that helped a lot. She always answers me when I call or text. I had to build trust. Now she knows I’m always going to come back.”
Richards, who is also the branch librarian at the Albert Carlton-Cashiers Community Library in Cashiers, sees many Littles several times a month. “The difference in how open and self-confident they are is very apparent. Before (joining BBBSCH) they couldn’t say two words, and now they come in and they’re chatterboxes.”
A member of a half a dozen community organizations, Richards knows very well that “nobody has enough time in their lives.”
But she treasures her involvement with BBBSCH. “If I’m going to choose to give up my free time, it’s going to be because something is doing such a large amount of good that I have to help them achieve it, so here I am.”
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