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Once Upun a Time
Written By: Donna Rhodes | Issue: 2017/11 - November
I bought a card for a friend who’s going through a rough patch. On the front was a picture of a beet. The caption read, “I’m rootin’ for ya!” Inside it said: “You can’t
be beet.”
Yes, it was corny, but my friend’s a gluten for punishment. That’s why I’m giving her tuber the price of one: a card and an article. This spud’s for you, Erin.
Erin is a gardener and grows those cute little fingerling potatoes. She wants to market them. I say it’s small potatoes.
This time of year Erin shifts her yield from above ground produce to below, where vegetables hide from the cold. Dig it. You never know what will turnip. A joke for example: What is small, white, and has a voice that grates on you? A hoarse radish.
Not that I carrot all, but would you look at that? Shitake is trying to crash our party. “Hey you. Yeah, you, Mr. Take. You think you are such a fungi. Go on. Scram, You take up too mushroom.” Mr. Take’s been stalking me ever since I addressed him by his first name.
Call me an agitater, but I yam what I yam, a common tater on Life.
Going now, before I drive you starch-raving mad. Besides I’ve got a double feature to watch: “Starch Trek” and “Silence of the Yams.” The latter got Bravocado reviews on Rotten Tomatoes.
