Salvation in a Pizza Pie: Slab Town Pizza

Written By: Luke Osteen | Issue: 2021/11 – November | Photograph By: Marjorie Christiansen Photography

Again and again, throughout these nearly two years of social distancing and the low-level Covid anxiety that’s crept into nearly every human interaction, I’ve included in my restaurant reviews a heartfelt paean to the sweet blessing of dining out with loved ones.

Whether it’s an intimate dinner for two or a raucous table filled with (safely-vaccinated) friends, the joy has been fundamental. 

But I’ve neglected to mention how these same restaurants are important in another way. 

This review, this entire November Issue, is built upon the wonderful kitchen of Slab Town Pizza.

Let me explain – two years ago, in those sweet pre-Covid-cramped days, I wrote this following a visit to the bustling Slab Town Pizza dining room:

“Their pizza dough is made fresh daily and hand-tossed when you order. These are guys who are serious about their craft. They don’t make your choices easy, either – choose Red, White, Pesto, Vodka, or Olive Oil as your base sauce. Then choose from the standard pizzeria toppings and more exotic offerings like primo Castelvetrano Olives, or Pepperoncini, or Applewood Smoked Bacon or the Caramelized Onions – how have I missed caramelized onions on pizza? Why didn’t somebody tell me?

“Trust me, Slabtown gets pizza.”

And here’s what my two-table mates had to say about this visit and our exquisite meal:

“The Mozzarella Sticks were awesome and the sauce that went with them was probably the best mozzarella dipping sauce I’ve ever had – pleasantly spiced, but not spicy like hot, spicy like flavorful,” says Emily (Crowell, Laurel’s poetic outdoor adventure writer). “The buffalo chicken calzone was really good – I liked the bread of the calzone and the filling-to-bread ratio was perfect.”  

“What I was impressed by most at STP – the Bread! They do bread right!,” says Jessica. “The Best Cheese Sticks I’ve ever eaten. Why? No grease, the breading is crunchy & paired with a great marinara sauce. A plus – no gagging from mozzarella being too hot and stringy.

“Pesto Calzone was plump with ricotta, mozzarella, artichoke, cherry tomato, and basil pesto. Working to the center from the corner, each bite had more flavor and more to offer! The bread was soft and fluffy and the leftovers kept fresh without getting soggy.”

I’m writing this in the final, frantic hours before these digital pages are zipped to the printer.

Two-and-a-half hours ago, struck by physical exhaustion and sudden realization that I’d read the same paragraph three times without it registering. 

I knew I needed help. Secure in the knowledge that a quick nap was out of the question, some deep part of my brain dredged up a bit of wisdom that I’d cobbled together over the decades.

I looked back to the momentous times in my life and realized that, somehow, in nearly every emotion-freighted situation, there’s been pizza in the background – birthdays, graduations, too-cool-for-cake weddings, ordinary (yet deeply precious) meals shared by too-frequently scattered family members, bon voyages for too-dear friends, the birth of my beloved son, wakes embroidered by tears and laughter. 

Each event is inextricably linked to this seemingly most-humble of ethnic appropriations.

So it makes sense that in this most dire hour, I’ve turned to the blessed kitchen of Slab Town Pizza, for sustenance, relief, and a stolen moment of solace and contentment. 

I reached for my phone and placed an emergency phone call
for takeout.

Half an hour later, I’d settled in at my desk with a personal Buffalo Chicken Pizza, a bold assemblage of Chicken, Ricotta, Grande Mozzarella, Red and Buffalo Sauce. 

It turns out that the observations by my friends were still valid – Slab Town Pizza still hauls the freight when it comes to serving up deeply satisfying meals.

And sure enough, that hard-earned wisdom paid off as well. I’m completing these last few pages of copy with a happy belly, a relaxed emotional state, and a refocused mental acuity.

Salvation in a Pizza Pie. Incredible.

And think this is hyperbole? I offer the pages of this November Issue as proof. 

Slab Town Pizza is open 11:00 A.M. to 8:00 P.M. Tuesday through Saturday, and 4:00 to 8:00 P.M. Sunday. It’s located at 45 Slab Town Road in Cashiers. For takeout or large orders, call (828) 743-0020.